Tuesday, August 19, 2008: California Dreaming

I just completed my third trip to California this summer, visiting the Banquet Studios to complete the recording of guitar and vocal tracks for my new CD "RIVER OF GRACE". I didn't have time the past two visits to make it to the coast, so I was determined to rent a car and see the Pacific Ocean this time.

Well, I saw what I could. Being Northern California, the morning fog covered just about everything in mist, so I couldn't see much past a few hundred yards. But that didn't do anything to the sound of the waves gently rolling in, and sometimes more violently crashing upon the rocks that seem to be everywhere along this coast. At one point I was able to park the car and take a short hike to where no other soul was around for what seemed like miles and miles... Thank you, Lord, for this magnificent creation!

P.S. – I rented the car at the Santa Rosa Airport, a.k.a. "Charles M. Schulz" airport. Outside to welcome you are Charlie Brown and Linus in bronze, and Snoopy as the Red Baron. I want to get back there some day to visit the Peanuts museum...

Tuesday, June 25, 2008: Band of Brothers

A member of our church community has fallen on hard times recently. For the past several years he has lived courageously with multiple disabilities and chronic illnesses. His house has slowly fallen into disrepair, and the city inspectors have been riding him hard, citing him for code violations, threatening fines and even arrest. The judge in one instance was not at all interested in hearing about the medical conditions that have been the main reason for his inability to make the repairs. He was recently given an ultimatum of sorts, a hard deadline, to have repairs completed by the end of this month.

What I witnessed last night was truly inspiring – 15 men from our church descended on his house, eager to scrape, prime, paint, saw, glaze, frame, install, and do whatever else was needed. The camaraderie among the men was joyful and light-hearted, but at the same time they were completely dedicated to the task at hand. Most of these men went through our parish’s Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) retreat together a few years ago, and they have continued meeting weekly for Bible study and fellowship. To see them mobilize into action using their carpentry and painting skills to help a brother in need was inspiring. Their actions were a much-needed witness to the essence of male spirituality: real men doing real work for the glory of God, protecting and providing for someone who had fallen on hard times. To see a newly-remodeled house come together over the course of a few hours is to witness what belonging to an active faith community nurtured by prayer can accomplish: the Gospel in action.

Do you want to experience deep, abiding joy? Find someone to serve, and find like-minded people to serve with. That's a sure recipe for fulfillment.

Monday, May 26, 2008: Guideposts

Once in a while God sends us gentle whispers of encouragement that we’re on the right path, that we are pleasing in his sight. A few weeks ago I was tweaking a new song titled "I Will Continue." It was getting close, but it wasn’t quite at the finish line. The song speaks of the need to keep re-committing ourselves to God and to doing his will each and every day of our lives—it’s an ongoing choice. The kernel of the song came from a prayer that we recited at the beginning of each class period at St. Paul’s High School: "I will continue, O my God, to do all my actions for love of you."

I thought of the Scripture passage in the Gospel of John where Jesus first taught about the Eucharist, and how he would be truly present in this Sacrament: "Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you shall not have life within you." (John 6:53). This was certainly a difficult teaching, harsh on the ears, and a stumbling block for many—remaining so to this day—so much so that many followers left the Lord at this point, unable to accept this teaching. Jesus turned to his disciples and asked, "Will you leave me too?" Peter responded: "Lord, you have the words of eternal life. To whom else should we go?" (John 6:68)

What a faith-filled response on Peter’s part! Even though the disciples couldn't possibly comprehend the meaning of Jesus’ teaching, they chose to continue putting their faith in Christ, unlike those who walked away. They trusted that God would eventually clarify this teaching, which of course Jesus did through word and example at the Last Supper. He took simple bread and wine, and through a great miracle, transformed them into his own body and blood, in a non-gruesome way, remaining under the appearance of bread and wine. He commanded his disciples to take and eat, and to "do this in memory of me," which is precisely what Catholics do at each Mass, re-enacting the Lord’s Passover meal and Passion, re-presenting to the Father the only acceptable sacrifice by which mankind is redeemed. We take and eat the body of Christ so that his very flesh becomes part of our flesh, healing us, strengthening us spiritually, helping us to become more like him.

Peter’s response of faith really struck me, and I decided it would make a great bridge for my song. After all, we often find ourselves in the same position as the disciples, not understanding lots of what transpires in our lives—why someone must suffer greatly, why a tragedy occurs. Still we choose to continue putting our faith in God in the midst of these mysteries of life, because he is God, and therefore worthy of all our trust. We are his children, and he wants nothing more than to lead us to eternal life, even though his way is often different than the way that we might choose for ourselves.

And so I spent the better part of the day writing and tweaking, recording and listening, and tweaking some more. If you know me at all, you know that I am NOT a late night person, that I am typically in bed by 10pm. The only time when I can stay up late is when I’m in my basement studio, happily working away on my music. That night at 1am I finally finished the song "I Will Continue," satisfied that it had reached the finish line by incorporating John 6:68.

Crawling into bed I realized I hadn’t read my "Living Faith" devotional at all that day, as I had been so focused on crafting this song. This little booklet contains a Scripture quote from the daily Mass readings, along with a short reflection on the quote. So I picked it up and what was the chosen Scripture quote for the day? "Lord, you have the words of eternal life. To whom else should we go?" (John 6:68) Wow!!! Talk about a guidepost of affirmation and encouragement! To me this was God’s way of saying keep up the good work, keep on writing and singing for me. I had been letting those very words permeate my being all day long, and here they were staring back at me. I sat in bed and smiled for a long time before I closed my eyes, thanking the good Lord for this special gift.

I will continue following you Lord. Where else could I go?

Sunday, April 27, 2008: A Magnificent Vision

One week ago today I had the privilege of being in Yankee Stadium to attend Mass with Pope Benedict XVI, along with 60,000 other people. What an incredible gift to be with the successor of St. Peter, to hear his words, spoken to each one of us to ponder deeply. He spoke of a "magnificent vision of a world being transformed by the liberating truth of the Gospel". The joy I personally experienced and that I witnessed on the faces of thousands of others gave testimony to this truth, to the power of Christ alive in our hearts!

There was a tremendous diversity at Sunday's Mass—of cultures, languages, ages, and accents—yet here we were, united by an 81 year-old intellectual and former professor whom we cheered with abandon. During the homily, I closed my eyes to listen and focus as much as possible, letting his words soak deep into my soul. These lines stood out for me:

• "Today's first reading, taken from the Acts of the Apostles, speaks of linguistic and cultural tensions already present within the earliest Church community. At the same time, it shows the power of the word of God, authoritatively proclaimed by the Apostles and received in faith, to create a unity which transcends the divisions arising from human limitations and weakness."



• "True freedom blossoms when we turn away from the burden of sin, which clouds our perceptions and weakens our resolve, and find the source of our ultimate happiness in him who is infinite love, infinite freedom, infinite life... Freedom in truth brings in its wake a new and liberating way of seeing reality. When we put on 'the mind of Christ', new horizons open before us!"



• "What is this offering which we are called to make, if not to direct our every thought, word and action to the truth of the Gospel and to harness all our energies in the service of God's Kingdom? Only in this way can we build with God, on the one foundation which is Christ. Only in this way can we build something that will truly endure. Only in this way can our lives find ultimate meaning and bear lasting fruit."

Sunday capped off a week during which the Holy Father: was welcomed at the airport and on the White House lawn by the President of the United States; addressed the U.S. bishops, Catholic educators, and the United Nations; held a solemn prayer service at Ground Zero; and engaged 25,000 young people, encouraging them to live their lives founded on Jesus Christ. He also spoke of the deep personal pain he felt from the abuse scandal, and surprised everyone by meeting with several victims, spending time with each one, allowing them to share their pain. Several of the 9/11 victims and family members he met with at Ground Zero said that for the first time since the tragedy, they felt a sense of peace and closure after speaking with him.

Quite simply, no one else on the planet can do what Pope Benedict XVI did, because, as we believe in faith, he is the Vicar of Christ: the universal shepherd of the flock. And shepherd, he did!

I hope you enjoy these pictures.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008: Teachers

I am in Louisiana this week for a visit with family and friends, a busy Holy Week and Easter weekend of liturgies completed. ALLELUIA...Christ is risen!

Today after morning Mass I happened to run into my 2nd grade teacher at church from way back when — what a special reunion that was. I asked Mrs. Weidemann if I could play her a song, so we went over to the piano and I sang "Hold Me, Lord". This was a small way for me to say thank you for all the love and tenderness that she showed to me and to hundreds, perhaps thousands of children.

I bet you won't have much trouble recalling a very special teacher who influenced you in a positive way or helped to shape you, someone who helped to open up new worlds of interests or who inspired you in some way. Say a prayer of thanksgiving for that person. Be grateful for the love you were given, and pass it on.

Thank you to all of you teachers, laboring in the trenches day in and day out, motivated not by money, but by kindness and caring. To further show what kind of love teachers have, Mrs. Weidemann, 85 years young herself, told me that each Wednesday she goes to visit the 'seniors' in the assisted living center to cheer them up. She was headed there right after we spoke. Wow.

Jesus called the children to himself and said, "Let the children come to me and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." (Lk 18:16)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008: Dede

"Jesus summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them, 'Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.'" (Mk 8:34)

Tonight I saw a program on TLC (The Learning Channel) about a man in Indonesia who had a terrible skin disease. Large black warts covered his body, and his hands and feet are so deformed that they look like tree stumps. Dede, 35, has a rare genetic condition severely weakening his immune system. A virus he likely caught during his teenage years has wreaked havoc upon his body, spreading unchecked.

Dede's story made me reflect on the tremendous suffering that exists in our world: debilitating pain, burns, and diseases. Much suffering is internal, of the soul: losing a loved one, perhaps the agony of a child's death, imprisonment to an addiction, a neurosis, anxiety, and depression. Lord Jesus, in the midst of so much suffering, we cry out: "Have mercy!"

A chain email was forwarded to me this week which made me think more about Dede: "Everything that is going wrong in your life today shall be well with you. You have been destined to make it and you shall surely achieve all your goals this year. For the months of this year (2008), all your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be incoming in abundance."

This is not Christianity. This is not the Way of the Cross. God has not promised to remove all our suffering, to "divert all our agonies" or shower "prosperity in abundance." God HAS promised to be with us in the midst of our suffering. Christianity proclaims that if we are willing, suffering can transform us—it can have great value, even to the point of helping others on their journey to Heaven.

"Moved by so much suffering Christ not only allows himself to be touched by the sick, but he makes their miseries his own: 'He took our infirmities and bore our diseases." (Mt 8:17) On the cross Christ took upon himself the whole weight of evil and took away the 'sin of the world," (Jn 1:29) of which illness is only a consequence. By his passion and death on the cross Christ has given a new meaning to suffering: it can henceforth configure us to him and unite us with his redemptive Passion." (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1505)

Lord, if it be your will, heal Dede. Give him, and all of us, the grace in the midst of our suffering, whatever form it takes, to unite ourselves with your sacrifice on the cross, and thus win souls for you. Let your will be done.

Friday, January 4, 2008: The Blue Stand

I arrive on a weekday evening not knowing what to expect, but with an open heart. This tiny shack of a place, painted bright blue as an invitation to the children of the neighborhood, stands out among the others. A few men congregate on the street despite the frigid air, unusual for south Louisiana even in January. For the past 10 years a humble woman has labored at the "Blue Stand" to teach, feed, and serve the neediest children of Covington, the town where I grew up, and which I'm visiting for Christmas.

I knock through the barred door and Sr. Theresa welcomes me in, the joy seeping out of her. It's the same joy I've seen overflowing from others who have given their lives so completely to serving and loving. She introduces me to about ten bright faces, all eager to open my guitar case. They are so taken with it that I wonder if most have ever seen or touched a guitar. So many questions... we count the strings, I explain the different parts, let them hold my pick...

After a song or two, I invite the kids to take a turn strumming the strings of my guitar. Suddenly a fight breaks out over who took whose place in line, and with full force a girl hurls one of my CDs right at the head of a boy who had provoked her in some way. I'm startled at the violence of the outburst, and I'm immediately aware that I am in the midst of someone's life experience that is very different from my own. Theresa sternly reprimands the two, sending one home. A tenuous order is restored.

After a few more songs I struggle for what to play -- how can I connect with these kids? Then I notice that one girl has a beautiful voice and is singing along to most of the songs. Perhaps they're letting some of the lyrics and melodies soak in after all. I ask for two volunteers to learn the hand motions to a fun song, and this gets most engaged. Another girl requests the "Our Father", which is written out and posted on the wall, and we sing this prayer together. They get a kick out of singing the two words "Pater Noster".

A young man comes in at one point and takes in the scene... I learn later that he has been coming for 10 years, since the Blue Stand was opened. He has no job, and not much hope -- his dream of playing football ended when pins were put in his knee. But at least he has this place. It comes out that his birthday is in a few weeks, and that no one has celebrated his special day for many years. Soon after Sr. Theresa is raising his spirits with ideas for an outing to celebrate his day as she serves a simple dinner, a hot meal which the little ones eagerly devour. I find myself grateful for the hot chocolate being passed around. In the midst of much brokenness, I witness community being built, modeled, fostered.

There are no easy answers to the questions in my heart. The children soon depart, Sister driving each one home in her minivan. We have some quiet time to reflect as we clean up. I'll soon be eating a delicious home-cooked meal, watching another bowl game in a warm house on a comfy couch with Mom and Dad, working crossword puzzles. Most of these children are returning to broken homes, to neighborhoods and streets where drugs are dealt, and violence is not uncommon. What does it all mean? How to cross this seemingly uncrossable divide, multiplied in a thousand cities across the country on this cold winter night?

There are no easy answers. But I know this: a dedicated nun makes a difference by offering with great love what little she has from this tiny blue house. Sr. Theresa's belief in Jesus, a child born into poverty 20 centuries ago, has filled her life with light and led her to look after the children of another poor neighborhood a world away. Her presence makes Christ present to a group of his beloved, chosen little ones that he called by name before the dawn of time.

Monday, December 10, 2007: A Pilgrimage of Love

Watching the moon set over Bethlehem. Making the Way of the Cross along the Via Dolorosa in Old Jerusalem. Singing at Masses on the Mount of Beatitudes and the Mount of Transfiguration. Praying for your intentions at the Wailing Wall (pictured at left). Watching a shepherd lead his flock across the plains of Bethlehem, where the angels announced the birth of the Savior. Praying in the garden of Gethsemane, and at Calvary, in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Taking a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee. And finally, a 32 hour-long day returning home, from Tel Aviv, to Paris, to icy Chicago, to St Louis.

These are just some of the memories that I hold from my pilgrimage to the Holy Land two weeks ago, a truly amazing experience. It was a tremendous privilege to offer my gift by singing in many of these holy places. I didn't bring my guitar, so I was singing a cappella, doing my best to project and convey the feeling of the moment. After most songs my hands were shaking, I think mostly with the weight of the realization that I was actually standing in the shepherds" cave, in the Church of St. Ann, in the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth... I'm quite sure that this experience will be conducive to inspiring some new songwriting!

The week we made our pilgrimage was the week of the peace conference in Annapolis. It was eye-opening to see the situation firsthand. At no time did I feel unsafe, but my heart was filled with sadness when we had to pass through a secure checkpoint in order to enter the city of Bethlehem. The birthplace of the Prince of Peace is basically a walled prison – very sad. The separation wall that blocks off the Palestinians from the Israelis in various parts of the country will stretch over 450 miles when it is completed, and is reminiscent of the Berlin Wall – very sad. How much do we still yearn for the peace of Christ to fill our world!

And yet this sadness was offset by the deep joy of being in the very places where the great events of salvation history took place, retracing Christ's steps. Psalm 122 now takes on a very literal meaning for me: "I rejoiced when they said to me, 'Let us go to the house of the LORD.' And now our feet are standing within your gates, Jerusalem."

Please come along with me by viewing my Holy Land pictures.

Thursday, November 22, 2007: Off to the HOLY LAND!

Today is THANKSGIVING DAY, and I board a plane for Chicago, then another for Paris, and then a final one to the Holy Land. I'm excited to make this journey, and I'm still having a hard time believing that I'm actually going! The only downside is that I won't be able to travel to Louisiana to visit family for Thanksgiving, but I'm planning to make up for that with a few weeks at Christmas. Please keep me and the rest of our group in your prayers!

Here are the main sites we'll be visiting: Jerusalem, Gethsemane, Bethlehem, Mount Zion, Jericho, Dead Sea, Nazareth, Tiberias, Capernaum, Mount of Beatitudes, Mount Tabor, Cana, Sea of Galilee.

I am VERY thankful for one year of full-time music ministry. Last November is when I took the leap of faith, and this past year has exceeded all my expectations. THANK YOU, GOD! Thank you for my family and for my friends and for my faith, and for the opportunity to sing for you, to share your message of mercy and love through song.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007: The World is BIG

I recently returned from the Caribbean island of Curacao, where I made some great new friends and saw some wonderful things, including sea turtles, a sea horse, and colorful schools of fish along a coral reef on my first SCUBA dive. I am always taken by any city that resides on the sea... there's something about watching a ship set sail, wondering about its destination, perhaps somewhere halfway around the world.

Traveling to this beautiful place not far from South America has me reflecting on just how big this world is, with its dizzying array of languages, cultures, customs, places, and wonders. Sometimes when I'm reading article after article on Wikipedia (one of my favorite web sites), I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the history of this world, by its many places, by the incredible variety of things 'seen and unseen'. And to think that this one planet of ours is circling around one star of millions in one galaxy of perhaps billions in this universe... then I glimpse something of the majesty of God... and I'm simply silent.

"Bless the LORD, my soul! LORD, my God, you are great indeed! You are clothed with majesty and glory, robed in light as with a cloak. How varied are your works, LORD! In wisdom you have wrought them all; the earth is full of your creatures. Look at the sea, great and wide! It teems with countless beings, living things both large and small. Here ships ply their course; here Leviathan, your creature, plays. I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God while I live. May my theme be pleasing to God; I will rejoice in the LORD." (from Psalm 104, New American Bible)

Monday, September 24, 2007: Say that word, Jesus!

A few weeks ago I traveled to the Salt Lake City area to sing at a Divine Mercy conference. The conference was held in Park City, one of the main venues for the 2002 Olympics. It was amazing to see the Olympic ski jumps on the side of the hill (really steep!) — something pretty foreign for this Louisiana-raised person. We even had time to ride the alpine slide — what a blast!

During the conference, something happened at each Mass that made me smile. Just before we receive Communion, we say from the heart: "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed." This line is taken from the Gospel of Matthew, where the Roman Centurion told Jesus to simply speak the word, and his servant would be healed. The soldier felt unworthy to have the Lord come into his house, just as we recognize and admit that we are not worthy to consume the Body of Christ. But it's a gift freely given, and so we partake of the Eucharistic Feast at each Mass, despite our unworthiness.

What made me smile each time: after the congregation said these words, an older gentleman lifted his voice and gently spoke, "Say that word, Jesus!"

Amen!  Say that word in my life, Lord, and I shall be healed.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007: Growth in Solitude

The weather these first few weeks of August has been brutal!! We've had record temperatures here in St. Louis and across the country, with the sweltering heat turning lawns brown. I've learned a few things recently: 1) I can drive my car with just the palms of my hands because the steering wheel is so hot; 2) I can get a sunburn through my car window; 3) the best parking spot is no longer the one closest to the door, but the shadiest. With 100+ degree highs, it certainly feels like we've been in the middle of the Sahara desert at times.

And that's where I've been spiritually, too—in the desert. Summertime is usually slower for ministry work with so many church leaders and venues taking much needed vacation time. I've had extra time to pray and to read... and to reflect. Certainly the summer heat is tough to endure, but being in the spiritual desert isn't the most fun place to be either. I want to turn around and run back to green pastures. And yet, that's not where God has called me to be at this time.

Desert times can be times of growth and insight. But you've got to be patient and stick them out. Our culture tells us to fill up any dryness or longing with pleasure of some sort. Pick your poison, just don't sit there and languish. And yet, a wise person once said, "Don't just do something, sit there!" It's in this emptiness... this stillness and quiet, that God can speak. In the solitude and silence, God can move and work.

I pray that God is moving and working inside me these past few months. I sense that he is stretching me and helping me grow. I continue to pray for purity of heart, and although I often get discouraged because I realize how far away that goal is, I take comfort knowing that "it is never the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost" (Matthew 18:14). And so I am assured that God is with me, that he is on my side.

I encourage you, if you're in the desert, don't run away. Try to give God the space he needs to help you grow. At the right time, he'll lead us back into fullness, back into our active ministries, and we'll be stronger and more prepared to do his work.

"May the Lord increase you and make you overflow with love for one another and for all,
even as our love does for you." (I Thessalonians 3:12)

Monday, July 23, 2007: Everybody Needs a Coach

I minister at an ongoing series of healing retreats held about an hour east of St. Louis, and on the ministry team is Theresa Grentz, one of the winningest collegiate women's basketball coaches in history (not to mention her Olympic coaching experience). Theresa has been affectionately dubbed "Mary's Coach" as she now recruits for God's team, seeking to lead her players to the ultimate championship—Heaven!

I was reflecting on how well the retreatants respond to Theresa, not only because she's funny and has many stories to share, but because coaching, in the truest sense, is a noble calling, and we're all in need of a good coach. At the heart of a coach's mission is to help his or her teammates to grow and to learn and to compete better than they could on their own. Even more importantly, a true coach seeks to help players become better people, to prepare them for life itself, well beyond the limits of any game or sport.

Don't we all long for someone like that to guide us, to help us grow, to challenge us, to keep us on the path? Someone who has our best interests always in mind? We're all on a mission to get to Heaven, and to help bring as many others there with us, so it's pretty important stuff. When I'm all on my own I tend to flounder, to jump from one book to the next, from one focus to another. And that's why I need a coach, someone who knows more than I do, someone who can see more objectively than I can, someone who has better perspective and a wiser outlook than I do, someone to whom I'm accountable. And that's why I'm searching and praying for a spiritual director... my own spiritual coach.

Saturday, June 30, 2007: God Moments

One of the questions I ask when someone signs my guestbook is to share a 'God moment' from their lives. These are those times when we seem to get a glimpse 'behind the curtains' of something deeper at work in lives, some happy coincidence (that really isn't a coincidence), some extra-ordinary experience or event that helps us know that God is present and working in our lives.

I had just such an experience this evening. I am ministering at a healing retreat in Vandalia, Illinois. The day had been going well with many blessings being poured out, great speakers, a joyful Mass. And yet my spirit was in a funk. I'm not sure why, but I didn't seem to be in a good place despite the good things happening around me. Then something unplanned, extra-ordinary happened in the early evening.

The final activity for the day was to be a healing service with Eucharistic adoration in the church, and so a few of us had walked over from the parish hall to prepare. But the church doors were locked, and so we stood on the steps awaiting the keys. I had my guitar in hand so I started playing a praise and worship song, and everyone joined in. Soon more people came over from the parish hall, started joining in the songs, and suddenly there we all were, entering into a spontaneous moment of praise and joy, raising our voices and our hearts. At that point we weren't even concerned about unlocking the church doors and going inside. To top it all off, a beautiful sunset was taking place. Unplanned, yet perfect—just what we all needed to lift our spirits and to prepare us for meeting Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

I hope you take some time to read all the 'God moments' that people have shared on the guestbook page. I'm convinced that we're all gifted with these moments in our lives from time to time, but we need to be attuned to watching for them, to savor them when they come, and to be grateful for them, perhaps even writing them down to remember them when life seems ordinary, or our spirits may be sagging.

Monday, May 28, 2007: Remembering

Today is Memorial Day, a chance to reflect on the freedoms that we all enjoy, and that I take for granted every day. And it's yet another chance to remember those who have won those freedoms for us.

I have a picture on my fridge of a young soldier who I've never met, the son of a friend of my Mom's. She sent me his picture last year. As you can see from his photo, he has a great big smile, bright eyes, and a silver cross dangling around his neck in front of his desert-colored military fatigues that expresses his faith. He looks like the kind of guy I wanted to be in high school—a football and baseball standout, popular with the girls, a big hearty laugh, and friends with everybody.

On Memorial Day, rather than write about the futility of war or lament the current state of world affairs, I just want to say thank you to the men and women like Justin, who give all they have for us, so that we can go on pursuing our dreams and raising our kids and attending our churches and enjoying our baseball and crossword puzzles and music and all the other things that you and I do each day, things that fill our lives with both deep meaning and simple distraction.

The back of the photo reads:
  "LCpl Justin McLeese
  KIA 11-13-2004 Fallujah, Iraq
  Bronze Star V-Valor Purple Heart"

Tuesday, May 15, 2007: Checkmarks

More than a few moons ago, I received a beautiful high school graduation gift from my principal and mentor, Br. Jeffrey. Little did I know that he had done something so subtle that it would take me years to realize. His gift was a New Jerusalem Bible, and I was thankful for it at the time, even though I didn't read it much until the end of my college days.

I recall sometime after college noticing a faint pencil checkmark next to a specific passage, and thinking to myself how strange that was. Not long afterwards I noticed another, and then another, and I realized that Br. Jeff had taken the time to share with me his favorite Scripture passages in this quiet and gentle way.

Every time I come across one of these faint pencil checkmarks, I think of Br. Jeff, and I am thankful for his friendship, for his gift. In what ways am I sharing Christ with others in such a quiet, gentle way that will keep speaking for years?

Monday, June 05, 2006: Confirmation + Blessing

I had the privilege of being the sponsor for my good friend Sam for her confirmation yesterday at the New Cathedral. The liturgy was beautiful, fitting for the ceremony and the great feast of Pentecost. It's been awesome to see Sam grow in her faith over the past several years, and to know that she deeply desired to be confirmed in the Catholic Church, fully embracing the Faith that has brought her much peace and joy.

After the ceremony I waited in line to say hello to Archbishop Burke (I was last :), and I told him that there are many young people praying for him. I also mentioned that I was a musician and was working on my new CD, and I asked for his blessing on the project. He gave me his blessing, and I was very honored to have it! He asked that we keep the prayers coming for him. So let all of us young people continue to pray for our local shepherd!

Friday, May 26, 2006: a continual deepening

This is taken from a homily by Fr. Tom Francis of the Monastery of the Holy Spirit. This was a tremendous insight for me that I wanted to share. It speaks to the fact that the Holy Spirit continues to deepen the Church's understanding of God and life in Christ throughout the ages. It is a powerful testimony to the understanding of Faith as taught by the Catholic Church, which relies on Sacred Tradition (informed by the Holy Spirit) as well as Sacred Scripture:

In the first line of our Gospel reading, not Paul, but Jesus informs his own disciples, "I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now, but when the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into the fullness of truth" (Jn 16:12-13). Implicit in that statement is the startling declaration that not even Jesus in His public ministry gave to the Church all that there is to know about himself, His Father, the Holy Spirit or the Church. Like a good teacher, Jesus has disclosed for his Galilean disciples only what they were capable of absorbing with at least a minimum of understanding. The rest, He says, will be revealed by the Holy Spirit when He comes (cf. Jn 16:13). And that coming is not only the one on Pentecost, when the early Christian community (and not only the apostles; remember there were 120 in that Upper Room) learned of the full divinity of Jesus, but that the Spirit would be with the Church throughout all her history here on earth.

See why our Catholic Church, while fiercely defending the inspiration of Scripture, also relies equally on the Spirit to be with her as She spreads the Kingdom of God from Jerusalem, Samaria to all the countries of the world, in place and time. And this Spirit is NOT confined to the clergy or hierarchy, but is given to ALL Christians. However, a particular group, the mystics, those men and women who seek God Triune both in prayer (as the Desert Fathers and Mothers), and equally Spirit-inspired, missionaries and women like Dorothy Day and Mother Teresa. And that Spirit is alive and well even in our own times!

Sunday, March 19, 2006: When Hollywood Shared Our Values

I was watching AMC (American Movie Classics) this morning while eating my pancakes, and the original 'Cheaper By the Dozen' was on, released in 1950. In one scene, a representative from the local Planned Parenthood chapter knocks on the door and she begins to expound upon the need for women to ban together to advocate for birth control rights, asking the lady of the house to consider joining the organization because she has such a big house, and meetings could be held there. The mom appears interested, and summons her husband to ask his permission (I'm thinking, uh oh, where is this going?) He appears interested in so 'worthy a cause' as well, then excuses himself for one moment, whistles loudly and melodically, and summons their 12 children! The Planned Parenthood woman is disgusted! 'What is this, a school? Oh no! These are all your children! And within 18 miles of the national PP headquarters! Harumph -- Good day!' she says, and storms out. Mom and Dad have a good chuckle, happy to see the woman leave, proud of each one of the children that God has blessed them with, knowing that each one is a precious gift.

My heart leapt for joy watching this scene from 56 years ago -- Planned Parenthood being exposed in a Hollywood movie for that which it really is -- anti-life and anti-children. This woman had the nerve to show her disgust in front of all these children, as if they were a simple commodity that should never have been purchased. Oh for that day again, when large families were welcomed and children desired and understood as such an incredible gift from God! Of course we saw no such thing in the 2003 remake.

Sunday, March 19, 2006: A Challenge For Lent

Can you drive the speed limit?

It CAN be done (grrr..but it's hard!) I know I can break myself of the habit of going over the posted limit. Plus I'll be safer. I'll be more considerate. I'll just feel better about myself because I'll be following the law, and I won't always be looking out for a police officer to pull me over. Just because everyone else (it seems) on Hwy 270 goes 70mph+ (posted limit: 60), doesn't mean that I have to. And when someone is tailgating me (even with two passing lanes available, grrrr again!) I try to ask myself: am I more interested in pleasing this impatient person behind me, or pleasing GOD? No, I'm NOT one of those people who gets in the far left lane and holds everybody up. But I'm also trying NOT to be one of those people who goes along with the crowd...

Wednesday, January 25, 2006: DC ProLife Trip 2006

I wanted to share a bit of this past weekend with you, where hundreds of us from St. Louis journeyed to Washington to take part in the annual March for Life. I had the privilege of playing drums in the house band for the Archdiocese of St. Louis teens, lead by Karl Zimmerman. 800+ went on the caravan to witness to life, and it was a weekend filled with many blessings. We kicked things off on Friday night in St. Louis at a local high school with praise+worship, skits, and Mass, and then all the teens boarded buses for the long overnight trek (a few of us flew to get back for work on Tuesday). We set up shop in the ballroom of the DoubleTree Hotel, just a stone's throw from the Pentagon. Saturday evening we had Crispin + reconciliation, did some sightseeing Sunday morning, and then Mass + Janelle + adoration on Sunday evening. We just barely made it inside the MCI Center on Monday morning, which was completely packed for Mass. Cardinal McCarrick was a kick--really down to earth. So many priests and bishops, and half the floor was filled with seminarians, a great sign of hope! Religious sisters scattered throughout. Steve Angrisano and Tony Melendez were with a full band + Gospel choir -- great music. Then it was outside, time to catch a sandwich, and then the march itself. A bit chilly, but fortunately the rain held off. People as far forward and back as I could see. It felt like everyone there was Catholic -- many held signs saying where they were from. Priests and seminarians everywhere. I felt so proud! Down Constitution Ave, up the Hill to the Capitol, so many sights and sounds. . .what a blessing to be a part of it all, witnessing for the unborn.

Pray for the Culture of Life!

Saturday, January 07, 2006: A Purpose To our Playing

This quote from Pope Benedict in an article in the St. Louis Review caught my eye yesterday. He was speaking to young Catholic musicians who had come to the Vatican to sing for Mass on New Year's Day:

"You have an important mission to help the people of God pray with dignity because sacred music is a ministerial function in the service of the Lord." Singing not only contributes to "the beauty of the liturgy," it also nourishes one's faith and raises one's mind and thoughts to God, he said.

How appropriate these words are for all of us Catholic musicians. May we take them to heart, and appreciate the important role that God has given us to help nourish the faith life of the faithful in the Church.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005: struggle and hope

I just returned from my Christmas visit to Louisiana. I grew up just north of New Orleans, and my family still resides there. Flying in, the first thing that caught my eye was the blue FEMA tarps on hundreds and hundreds of roofs -- virtually everywhere. And then when I got home and had a chance to walk around our neighborhood, things looked so much different. My parents lost 7 trees alone (one to their master bedroom), and there is still debris -- tree trunks, roots, limbs, wood, roofing, sheet metal, assorted everything -- in big piles up and down the street. My parents have been waiting for the parish to come haul away their old mattress and ductwork from the attic, along with a ton of other stuff, which is still sitting on their front lawn. It's been four months, but people are still very much in the midst of putting their lives back together. Needless to say, it's been very difficult for Mom and Dad, even though they know it could be much worse, as it has been for thousands of others that have nothing at all left.

And yet, there's a beautiful blessing right in our midst. A two year-old named Marie Claire, my precious niece, who has brought so much happiness to our family. She was so much fun to be around, and we sang "Old MacDonald" and "Twinkle Twinkle" again and again. (She'd have no part at all in strumming my guitar, however). Thank you, God, for this great gift, who brings smiles to so many faces and lifts our spirits, in the middle of much sadness and ongoing challenge. Please give hope to all those who are struggling in New Orleans and along the Gulf Coast. May we come to more fully know that truly You are with us -- Emmanuel!

Sunday, November 20, 2005: World Travelers

My Aunt Helen is in the process of giving a wonderful gift to each one of her grandchildren. Every year she takes one to any place in the world that they would like to visit and explore. This year she took Callie to Peru and the Galapogos Islands. What an awesome gift to give, and what a great way to spend quality time together.

I look forward to hearing about all the future world travels. . .

Thursday, October 13, 2005: Trinidad trip

Joel and I just returned from a week of music missionary work in Trinidad. How blessed we were to be invited to join a group of other Catholic musicians from Canada and the U.S. traveling to this beautiful country. We were invited by Bernadette Scott, who founded the Love Movement in Trinidad over 25 years ago. It was her vision to get kids off the streets and give them a positive outlet with song and dance and theatre. It has been a great success, and her three choirs (children, youth, adult) number 200+ combined. It was such a joy to see them perform. (Pictures can be viewed here).

They gave several public concerts the week before we arrived, and during our week we sang at a grade school, played at a community concert, and ministered in little ways to groups of 1 or 2 or 3. I left several of my CDs with different people of the island, and would you know The Love Movement is going to sing "Yes, We Believe" for the bishops at the Eucharistic Congress this weekend? Praise God!

Joel and I met a bishop's nephew on the plane flight down, and he gave us the starting lyric to a new song called "Praise Praise God". It's to the tune of "Red Red Wine" by UB40. Everyone we've played it for so far loves it! It has a lot of imagery from the island, from the beach. . .

The other musicians were great. I finally met my 'homegirl' Kara Klein from Mandeville, LA. We went to the same grade school, high school, and our parents go to the same church and live one subdivision apart from each other. Wouldn't you know God would have us finally meet and hang out together in Trinidad?

Thank you Lord for this beautiful trip and for these precious people. Please bless them abundantly, and grant them peace.

Thursday, September 01, 2005: Help

Thank you to all who have inquired about my family down in Louisiana. They are all safe and sound, thank God. My sister's house in Hammond was largely untouched, but Mom and Dad's house in Covington has two trees through the roof, one in their bedroom and another in the living room. They surely would have been killed had they stayed. The house next door had a large tree fall on it, but again thank God that the elderly couple who'd decided to stay were not hurt. Just 20 minutes to the east in Slidell the devastation is much worse, houses are either underwater or simply gone.

The magnitude of what is unfolding, especially in New Orleans, is nearly incomprehensible. Pray, donate, help in whatever way you feel called. There is so much suffering... God, please help us.

Monday, August 22, 2005: A Universal Church

Check out this picture from World Youth Day!

Isn't it amazing?!?! 1 million young people gathered together with priests, bishops, and Pope Benedict XVI to celebrate our faith in Jesus Christ. I was moved to tears at the sight. Blessed be God forever.

Sunday, June 19, 2005: Christpower Adoration(s)

It was my joy to sing and play bass at Christpower 2005 here in St. Louis with Adam Bitter and Carrie Zemblich. Thursday was especially powerful with all the teens around the altar worshipping Jesus for the entire evening. I learned several new songs which I'm eager to share at XLT North and with the Holy Trinity teens. Shane Barnard's "Yearn", Adam's "Overwhelm Me", another song called "Closer", among others. . .

It gave me great hope for the future seeing 150+ teens committing to a week of service days, putting in long hours to help those in need around town. Each evening they returned to the seminary to attend Mass, and afterwards participated in spiritual and fun activities. I wish more adults could see the great things that are happening with the youth of the Church! I wish they could see the hunger on the teens' faces during adoration, and the tears of joy that came streaming down as the night went on and they were spiritually fed by Jesus. It all happens again next week with another 150+! Praise God for our youth!

Sunday, June 19, 2005: New Favorite Band!

I've been listening to just about nothing but CEILI RAIN the past few weeks, ever since I met Bob Halligan, Jr. at the 2005 CAM (Catholic Assoc. of Musicians) annual conference. Bob is the driving force behind Ceili (pronounced "KAY-lee"). He gave an all-day songwriting workshop and shared several of his own songs in the process, which I loved. I didn't have the cash to buy CDs at the conference (note to self: bring more cash and CDs next year) so when I got home I placed an order through www.ceilirain.com -- "Erasers on Pencils" and "Ceili Rain" -- I love these discs!!! Kitty Cleveland told me their music would make me smile, and she was right. Joel and I played two of my favorites at a coffeehouse the weekend before last: "Thanks" and "Long For You". Do yourself a favor and check out this awesome band -- tin whistles + pipes + rock band + stellar songwriting & vocals + themes of hope = a big smile on your face and a warm feeling in your heart.

Saturday, May 14, 2005: Come, Holy Spirit

Tomorrow we celebrate the great Feast of Pentecost, the descent of the Holy Spirit. Lord, help me to understand the significance of this feast day. It truly is not just another Sunday, but the celebration of an incredible gift that you have chosen to bestow on us--the indwelling in our hearts of the third person of the Trinity, so that we might begin to share in the divine life, even here on earth. We must learn to quiet our hearts (we meaning ME), slow down, pause, reflect, adore, ask for guidance.

From a homily by a monk of Conyers:

"The most important advice needed to live our lives in a Christian manner is available without charge. All we need do is become attuned to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit. Prudence may sometimes require that we seek human guidance, but the good spiritual director realizes full well that his chief duty is to stand aside to observe how the Holy Spirit is leading the soul...

The Holy Spirit teaches the attentive soul the distinction between pleasure and happiness; pleasure is but momentary, happiness abiding and more worthy of our pursuit. But perfect happiness is not for this world but for the next. Heaven is our destiny and we can begin it here on earth if we possess God, the essential happiness of heaven. The more we bring our human wills into conformity with the divine will, the more we share in God's very own happiness. For in his will is our peace. We hope for heaven, not because we have been good but because God is good." (Fr. Cyprian Carew, OCSO)

Come, Holy Spirit!!! Veni, Sancte Spiritus!!!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005: We Are One Body

Click here to read / listen to President Bush's radio address from this past Saturday, the topic being the Papal funeral. My heart is encouraged and gladdened to hear a Protestant president refer respectfully to the "Chair of St. Peter." I am grateful that President Bush senses the deep ties that transcend our divisions as Christians, that he understands that we are all brothers and sisters in the one Church, the common Faith, the Mystical Body of Christ. Lord, make us truly one in You!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005: PRAY Extra Hard

If you are in St. Louis this coming Monday evening (4/18), come to Holy Trinity Catholic Church for a Mass at 7pm to join in the prayer of the universal Church, asking the Holy Spirit to pour out His guidance on the cardinal electors in Rome. Pray, pray, pray!!! This article was published today on our Reuters web site--see the last paragraph:

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VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Roman Catholicism's conclave to elect a new pope will start at 4:30 p.m. (10:30 a.m. EDT) next Monday in the Sistine Chapel after a public Mass in St. Peter's Basilica, the Vatican said on Tuesday.

After a ceremonial procession, 115 "cardinal electors" under the age of 80 will swear an oath of secrecy and then be closed off from the outside world until they elect a successor to Pope John Paul II, who died on April 2.

On Monday at 10 a.m. all cardinals in Rome -- electors or not -- will celebrate a public Mass in Christendom's largest church to pray for the outcome of the election.

A Vatican statement invited bishops, priests, nuns "and all the people of God present in Rome" to attend the Mass "to show their communion in prayer on the part of the whole Church at such an important moment."

The statement asked for prayers from Catholics around the world to help "enlighten the minds of the electors and inspire concord in them so they obtain a quick and unanimous election of the new pope."

Sunday, April 10, 2005: Goodbye John Paul the Great

What a privilege to have been alive during the pontificate of Pope John Paul II. I have so many thoughts during this time, I don't know where to start. The Pope passed away Saturday a week ago in the afternoon (St. Louis time). Shortly afterwards I went to lead the music for the 5pm Mass at Holy Trinity, but I didn't know exactly how to act, or what to feel as I walked into church--our spiritual leader and father had just passed away. This hadn't happened in 26 years, and I was just age 8 the last time. Now I'm a music minister, and people are in some ways looking to me to help them understand, to feel, to pray. But I really didn't have a clue what to feel, either. I decided we should play "Be Not Afraid" as a solemn closing to the Mass, echoing a favorite exhortation of the Pope to all of us. I think this was fitting; it felt right.

Now, a week later, I still feel the loss, but I'm not quite as sad. The Mass for the youth of the Archdiocese with Archbishop Burke on Thursday evening really helped. We need to gather together at times like this to share our feelings and to pray and worship together. Watching the funeral on TV helped. Watching retrospectives of the Pope's life and travels on EWTN has helped. Seeing how respectful the media has been in honoring the legacy of this great man of God has helped.

Thank you, Lord, for the life and the humble leadership of John Paul II. Thank you for his uncompromising witness of the Gospel message, even to the ends of the earth. Thank you for having loved us so well through him. Thank you for giving him the courage to say "I'm sorry" for past faults. Thank you for inspiring him to reach out to other Christians, to our Jewish brothers and sisters, to people of all faiths, to people of no faith. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for JPII.

Guide our Church at this time, Lord. You have not left us orphaned. You are with us always.

Saturday, January 15, 2005: Favorite CDs of 2004

Here is a list of my favorite new music from the past year:

1) Danielle Rose: "Mysteries"
2) Ryan Meyers: "Learning to Dream"
3) Matt Maher: "Welcome to Life"
4) Steve Ward: "See and Be Seen"

Over the past year, I've found myself listening to these tunes over and over again, both at work and at home. Check them out!

Monday, November 22, 2004: Speed Bump Prayers

I had the good fortune to play for Washington University's "Awakenings" retreat this Saturday evening. It was held near Columbia, IL, in the quiet countryside at a facility called Todd Retreat Center. I was smiling as soon as I pulled into the long gravel driveway, because at each speed bump a sign was posted that had a line from the Our Father. Speed bump 1: Our Father, who art in Heaven . . 1/3 mile . . Speed bump 2: Hallowed be thy name . . . and so forth. I loved it! The night was very special. There were about 50 on retreat, plus around 20 staff members. Fr. Gary lead the adoration session, giving us a benediction to close the service. As always, it was great to have Steph on violin and Joe on percussion. I hope you guys got some sleep last night!!!

That same evening most of the rest of the band was 50 miles away in west St. Louis County, playing for a young adult coffeehouse. I understand it was an intimate evening of musical prayer, and that people enjoyed themselves. I also understand that I was the brunt of a few jokes, seeing how they were playing some of my tunes and selling my CDs, but I was MIA. Ah well, I need to work on that bi-locating thing. . .

Today is the feast day of the patron saint of musicians, St. Cecilia. In honor of this day, Fr. John gave the Holy Trinity choir a special blessing at Mass yesterday morning. That really warmed my heart! St. Cecilia, pray for us, that we turn our hearts more fully toward Jesus as we seek to minister to His people with our musical gifts!

On Sunday I also heard wonderful flute and piano music by two old St. Louis U. friends, David Brinker and Bonnie Wilson. They gave an outstanding recital at St. Louis Abbey. One of the first pieces played was especially striking, with handbells rung intermittently in the distance, and a haunting flute melody interpreting one of the earliest known Christian hymns. Thank you for an awesome weekend of music, Lord!

Sunday, November 14, 2004: Extra! Extra!

In 1999 I subscribed to the local weekly Catholic newspaper, the St. Louis Review, when the Pope came to visit us. Reading this paper regularly since that time has played an important part in the development of my faith life and in the formation of my conscience. It's something that I now consider indispensable to being an active and informed member of the local Church. I find out about all sorts of events, learn about other people in our Archdiocese who are trying to lead Christ-centered lives, and through his weekly column, receive apostolic wisdom from the teaching of the Archbishop.

Subscribe to your local Catholic newspaper, and make a habit of reading it. I don't think you'll regret it!

Sunday, November 07, 2004: Hometown Concert

I went home to Covington, LA, two weeks ago, and on a Monday evening I gave an acoustic concert at my parents' church in Mandeville (Mary Queen of Peace). I was a bit nervous about the night because I wanted to do a really good job and make them proud. It helped to go fishing that morning with Dad to get rid of some of the anxiety, and I even caught a nice redfish!

God blessed us with a wonderful evening. What a joy it was to see several high school and even grade school friends--Catherine and John, Kelly, Sean, Matt--all with families of their own now. My sister was there too, as were many other friends of our family. I hope the CCD students were touched in some way; if for some it didn't sink in that night, maybe it will hit them later.

Thank you, Lord, for the graces of this very special night.

Sunday, November 07, 2004: How big is Heaven?

Mom and Dad were recently visiting me in St. Louis, and I dragged them down to the riverfront to hear some live music on a beautiful Saturday night. It was the grand finale of the highly successful Riversplash series, celebrating the centennial of the 1904 World's Fair. They hadn't been on the Metrolink yet, and so I thought they'd enjoy that too. They were good sports. It was kind of fun to see Mom sitting on Dad's lap on the ride there and back, making room for others in the crowded car, maybe like they used to do as newlyweds on the trains to New York (they just celebrated their 39th anniversary).

Dr. John opened for B.B. King, two pretty big names. There must have been 50,000 people there. . .we couldn't believe our eyes! Gobs and gobs and gobs of people anywhere you looked. I smiled when Mom commented as we were walking back to the Metro stop after the fireworks: "How are all these people going to fit into Heaven?"

Yes, Heaven must be a pretty big place. God willing, I look forward to getting to know each and every soul there someday. It's a good thing that God made it to exist outside of time and space!

Sunday, November 07, 2004: My goddaughter is a teen!

My goddaughter Danielle turns 13 this week. Can it really be true? I remember how tiny she was when I held her at just 2 days old in the hospital. It's my responsibility to do my part to pass on the Faith to her, and I need to be more cognizant of this as she enters her teenage years. That should be an easy and natural thing to do if my own faith is alive and well. I should want to readily share with her the joy and the peace that I feel from being a Catholic Christian. And so I hope she likes the book that I bought for her birthday yesterday at the Pauline bookstore. It's called "Ask the Bible Geek", and it's written by Mark Hart. It answers questions that teens who are curious about the Faith and the Church want to know like "does God feel pain?" "what makes God happy?" "does the devil really exist?" "do you ever get sick of acting Christian?" and of course, "does God watch horror movies?" I pray that Danielle's heart will always be open and that God will richly bless her teenage years!

Sunday, November 07, 2004: Worship and Mass

I recently attended a good friend's Sunday morning church service, and it was quite an interesting experience. There was rock concert lighting and fog machines, an incredible sound system, and lyrics and video projection. I suppose I am still digesting the experience. I felt very welcomed, and I have no doubt that these good people are in love with God and relating to him in a contemporary worship experience the best way they know how. The pastor gave a great sermon. I can see why people are drawn there.

It was a remarkable contrast to then drive to Holy Trinity to play at the 11am LifeTeen Mass immediately afterwards. No fancy lighting, certainly not a great sound system. And yet. . .the simple prayerfulness of a priest leading his flock, the readings and Gospel that every other Catholic Church around the world was hearing that day, and most of all, the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. . .the Body of Christ worshiping in a continuity that spans centuries and centuries, albeit not in Latin anymore. Humble, quiet, some would say boring. I say deep, and incredibly meaningful.

People worship in many different ways, but give me an 'outdated', 'ritualistic', 'antiquated' Catholic Mass, with Jesus Himself in the flesh any day. My soul needs it desperately, and it's far from boring if you stop and ponder what's actually taking place on the altar, what incredible grace is poured out for us yet again.

Thursday, October 07, 2004: Crossroads 2004

What an amazing day we had at the Crossroads Music Festival again this year. The weather was pristine: clear blue skies and a crisp Autumn air gently blowing throughout the day.

I was privileged to open the festival again this year. I did a few P&W tunes along with a few cuts off "Love Wins All". We had a few of the band members there, including Sally, Joel on keys, and Nic on drums. I tried to get Seth up there to play mandolin, but he was busy about the Lord's work at the vocation table.

Next up was Chris Shepherd, and let me tell you how much of a joy it has been sitting in on guitar with Chris for the past few gigs. This man has a great big heart of love and it shows through his music. I love his 2 CDs, and I look forward to playing more blues with him in the near future! Steve Butz sat in on bass and did a fine job, even after he had his finger slammed in a door and swell up shortly before.

Same Day Kings delivered a fine set, and they should be proud of their brand new CD "Places We've Been" -- looked fantastic! Paul and Heather from the REAP team gave great talks about loving God with our whole selves, and all the different interpretations of what that entails. Several other REAP team members spoke as well, sharing their stories. Brian Niebrugge was a natural at MC'ing the whole day, and it was a pleasure to meet him and his wife Kathleen (and son John Paul).

One of my favorite musicians this year was Ryan Meyers. He and his bandmates Josh and Cory drove up from Hattiesburg, MS earlier that morning! I was really impressed with how tight their rhythm was, and it was no surprise to hear Ryan announce that he had just been signed by Disciple Records. I've been listening to not much other than his debut CD "Learning To Dream" over the past week. You should check it out. And by the way, these guys are super-nice and down to earth, and were a pleasure to hang out with.

Danielle Rose is one of my all-time favorite singer/songwriters, and the love of God that pours through her music nearly takes my breath away. God has abundantly blessed us with so rich a talent as Danielle, and what a joy it was to hear her sing her haunting "Crown of Thorns" a cappela again this year. I told her earlier in the day that our band is closing our upcoming concert with her "Hail Holy Queen," and I promised her that we will do our best to do it justice! Another highlight of her set was when she called a few children up on stage to sing with her, and sing they did! Yeah!!!

Next up was Greg Walton, and this time he brought his whole band. Just like last year, he really rocked. Although he doesn't know it, he's taught me a lot about performing Catholic music and about sharing his personal story from the stage, reaching hearts.

Karl Zimmerman's band provided the music for the "Main Event" -- Jesus in the flesh. That's right, we had a visit from Jesus himself during Eucharistic Adoration. To watch teens kneeling, praying, adoring, and singing was beautiful. Like I've said many times before, there is much to be hopeful about for the future of our Church, and this was another reminder of that hope. Greg Robeson spoke eloquently about the "School of the Eucharist," and how we need to submit to God. This means admitting that we are not in control, and because of that fact, when we make plans, we need to leave the outcome up to God and be open to letting Him change our plans. It was a great lead-in to adoration, and KarlZ did his regular awesome job of giving all the glory to God through song. (I can't even begin to tell you how much Karl has taught me as a music minister.)

Other tidbits/highlights:

• I got to meet fellow CAM members Peter and Patti of On Bended Knee. These fellow musicians drove up from Arkansas, bringing part of their musical family with them. Nice to finally meet you in person after only knowing you through email!
• Opening blessing from Fr. Ralph of St. Louis Abbey
• Playing frisbee with the Maryville U. gang, and hearing the wonderful news that Mary and Justin are engaged! Congratulations!
• a beautiful sunset followed shortly afterward by shimmering stars
• peace in my heart on the drive back home late at night

All in all, what a blessed, peaceful, spiritually nourishing day. And how privileged I feel to have been part of it.

Sunday, August 08, 2004: Find us Ready: + + +

Recently I was visiting with a friend, and she hadn't been to Mass yet that weekend. Somewhere in the conversation she asked me what the Gospel reading was for that Sunday. Seeing as how I had just been to Mass not 3 hours previously, I was a bit embarrassed that it took me a few minutes to recall the Gospel. (It was about the man who stored up his grain and built big barns to store even more, but whose life was demanded of him prematurely). Last night I found myself again asking "what was the Gospel reading I just heard this afternoon?" and again, struggling to come up with the answer. (It was about being vigilant, staying sober and alert for the coming of the Lord). I'm seeing a recurring pattern here that I'm not too proud of! (And I don't think I should take the easy way out and blame it on being a liturgical musician, trying to get the next song ready or my capo on the right fret).

I tried to think of some way to help me more easily remember the Gospel, with the hope of recalling it during the week ahead and possibly sharing it with others. But then I remembered -- there's a symbolic action that we do at Mass intended to do this very thing, to wake us up to the Gospel that we're about to hear. We make a small sign of the cross on our forehead, on our lips, and over our heart as the priest or deacon introduces the reading by saying "a reading from the Gospel according to . . ." I remember being taught that the cross on our foreheads symbolizes our desire for the reading to remain in our minds to ponder, the cross on our lips so that we will speak of it to others, and the cross on our hearts so that we will live it deep within.

Next Sunday at Mass, I'm going to let this simple action of making 3 crosses remind me to be vigilant and to really listen to the Gospel. I need to listen mindful that I might (should) soon be teaching it to someone else. If I sum up the Gospel message with a brief phrase, or better yet a song, I find that it stays in my mind more easily. For example, today's Gospel (be vigilant) could easily be summed up by Tom Booth's song "Find Us Ready." And that's the message and the tune that I'll be remembering this week, and hopefully passing on to others.
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Friday, July 23, 2004: A dusk walk at the lake

This evening I had a great walk around Creve Coeur Lake. I think dusk, with a pink and orange sunset setting the tone, must be the best time to walk, because tonight I got the most smiles and "hellos" per capita that I can remember. I know it's a stretch, I know it's tough to make eye contact, I know it's a risk, but just go for it! You might make someone's day; you might save a life. Say "hi" and give a great big, honest smile as you pass by a stranger. You might catch a glimpse of Christ in the honest smile that's returned. I try my best not to discriminate in giving out my smiles and "hi's -- male / female / black / white / young / old / etc. For me, that's a stretch; I admit I'm still growing. It's much harder to be free of ulterior motives when it's a pretty girl who's passing by.

Several little Indian children were selling lemonade and gleefully advertising their wares with homemade signs, chasing everyone coming and going on the path. What a great location! I read somewhere words of wisdom that said you should ALWAYS stop and buy lemonade at kids' stands. So I did, and I'll have you know the going rate is still a reasonable 25 cents, but alas all I had in my wallet was a $10 bill and a $20 bill. The moms discretely smiled and said softly, "Don't worry about it," meaning, I think, that it was all the same to the kids if they just got a customer, paying or not. "Namaste" I said as I walked off with a refreshing drink in my hand. God bless the little ones.